Yesterday was am extremely emotional day. I now see why it's necessary to have a free day... Anyhow, we left our newly adopted family in Giovanazzo and I hadn't cried harder in my life. The tears were tears of amazement and of longing. Amazement at the fact that God had transformed this anxious little boy who wouldn't even leave the house to go play with his griend into a missionary leader who sleeps on floors and preaches the fospel to people who don't even speak the same language as he. God has done a wonderful work in me, and through us all.
I was worried that this trip would have become a vacation, but my worries never manifest themselves. WE have all been placed way outside out comfort zones, from sleeping on a dusty church floor with no A.C. To waking to a cold shower every morning, and to eating and finishing all the food set before us, no matter how much we disliked it (Thankfully that wasnt too big an issue)
We have all sacrificed, and have seen the fruits of our labor. Yes, we got to take beautiful pictures, and eat great food, and experience wonderful fellowship, but there were many trying times. Times of anxiety, doubt, pride, uncertainty, sickness, and fatigue. Through each trial the Lord graciously pulled us through, one by one.
We experienced healing, emotionally and spiritually, and for myself physical (with my nose). I have also learned not to judge other denominations in their charismatic worship or way of life. God has merely given us all different lense which we perceive the world through. Some seek the spiritual battleground and some seek the sovereign and divine character of God. It is simply our pride that causes us to judge and then to be a less effective team. I thank God for breaking me.
Anyway, yesterday's ministry was good. We did some quick and direct personal evangelism, to where we got to know people and their worldviews and then we would preach the gospel.
The biggest challenge there was convicing the people the difference between evangelicalism and catholicism. People would not let go of the saints and priesthood of those figures of the church. Anyway, we had some breakthroughs with the people, Margarite and Gioseppe. I believe we were able to transcend the love and joy of Christ through our being and coupled with the simple message of the gospel. I truly believe that they were able to get a glimpse of the great contrast in worldview. Well Rome... Here... I... Come!
-Ryan Jackson
(Afterthoughts)
I did not prefer this day. It was the day that loomed over us from before we even left Texas, the day we would leave our ministry sites. In hindsight, I have never experienced such grace from people in my life. Pastor Franco and Silvanna were fabulous. Busy in their schedules, they made as much time as they could to hangout with us, but they never stopped providing us with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Francesca, a friend, supplied most of the meals and did a phenomenal job. She was broken by exhaustion and cried out in fatigue on Sunday. She had two children, one infant, and a toddler, plus her daily job, and 25 people to cook for. God did a great work through her. We were all so blessed to have these friends as hosts, and now family.
In addition to the hosts, Samuele became a great friend to us all. He was one of the boys who just hungout with us all day. He was bilingual and translated for us at our drama sites on certain evenings. I don't know if he realizes how bold he is as he is probably about 12 years old. It was his desire that the guys come over his house and have a sleepover. He was just our best friend. I love him dearly. Gabriele was another young one, he was 8, and was quite possibly the cutest child ever. He drew us pictures and he became my little shadow. I held his hand when his mother wasn't around to cross him across the street. I fell in love with him as well. One day I know, for certain, that I will see these young men again.
As we departed the church, I was one of the first to break down. I cried as I never have before, and when people saw me crying, they cried. Apparently, I obtained the reputation as the overseer. The guy that shouted out orders, and apparently scared a couple people (who eventually warmed up to me). So it must have been a sight to see the tears pour from my face... I sobbed on the shoulder of the pastor and his wife, and was the last one on the bus. I couldn't seem to get away from Sammy, who made us a going away present of a full bag of Nutella Sandwhiches (which we got good use out of). I cried for about another hour on the bus as I gazed out at the ocean slowly fading into the long sloping mountainsides of rural Italy...
My system had been shocked. It felt as if my heart had been dashed to pieces... I was in amazement at how I could love a set of people so instantaneously. I was bewildered that I even had this heart. The man who just 2 years earlier would drunkenly and profanely curse the existence of the ones he so called "loved". How could God perform such a work? I sobbed at this realization. That not only did God give me a new heart, He gave me a new purpose, a new foundation, a new life. Those tears answered the many prayers I had previously prayed, the prayers for God to give me a heart for the people of Italy.
I cannot begin to describe the emotion, because it was more than emotion. It was the very essence of my being, that cried out for reconciliation. Reconciliation that would not take place in this life, for life in itself cannot garuntee eternity. Yes, eternity with whom I have fallen in love with. The fulfillment of that desire is what permeated through my tears. No words, not even life in itself can give an account for how I felt that day. I'll only be able to describe in heaven what those tears meant. It was only by someone stepping in and praying over me was I able to stop crying... Afterward, I simply stood amazed.
**I will never forget these faces.
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| Pastore Franco (left), Project Director Elizabeth (Center), Wife Silvanna (right) |
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| Leaving the Italians. :( |
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| Erica |
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| David |
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| Me and Sammi |
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| Vitorio and Marco |
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| Gabriele |
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| Gabriele again. |
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