Journal Entries / Italy 2011- July 22-23
Yesterday was a looong day. Leadership training was extensive and despite being out in the 100+ degree heat for the majority of the day I was able to sleep the night through with full contentment. The Lord has granted me peace despite my discomfort. He has comforted me and calmed me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. He is my refuge and strength, my strong tower.
With all of the challenges that lie ahead of me, taking care of these children, I find my mind racing. I was pulled aside yesterday by my project director and was informed that out of two available Missionary Advisor positions available, they would like me to serve as one. I believe that grants me the role and that still applies... I had no idea how extensive the role would be in terms of responsibility, and quite frankly I'm surprised they see the maturity in me to accomplish this task. In all reality, I am shaking in my boots... I will be responsible for a families life... There really is a present danger involved with taking care of these kids, teens, and adults... And I am taking this role seriously. If it means not eating so that they may, so be it... If it means not enjoying my free time so that they may, so be it.This trip is not about me. First off it's about Christ and his glorious gospel, then it's about the lost, followed by my kids, my team, and lastly me.
I am looking forward to seeing how God will change my heart to that of a servant's... I am so self centered and ignorant in my comforts and where I find myself to be humble, I have also detected self righteousness. All I know is that "there is no greater love than to lay down my life for my friends." "The last will be first and then first will be last" May the Lord break me... May He humble me... Did I mention, if one of my kids throws up I'm most likely in charge of cleaning it?! Talk about servant leadership, I am waaaay out of my comfort zone at merely that thought!
OK, but anyway, yesterday my team and I went through a ropes course to build teamwork. It was amazing, we experienced strength, ingenuity, and overcame tears and fears. We have a genuine love for one another... My heart already breaks at the thought of us returning home again. Philippians 1:8 "God as my witness, how I long for you with the affection of Christ Jesus." The affection of Christ Jesus... How great a love He had for his church that He would lay His life down. This same love is manifest in me. God has sovereignly appointed us all to be together right here, right now... And as I tear up as I write this, I can't wait until I get to heaven to tell them how much I truly love them all. For there is no sense in trying to express this love by any worldly term nor sense... "Break me Oh Lord, teach me to love like you... Grant me vision to see the sorrow, and fill me with the Spirit of holiness, so that I might reflect and transcend the affection of Christ Jesus."
-Ryan Jackson
With all of the challenges that lie ahead of me, taking care of these children, I find my mind racing. I was pulled aside yesterday by my project director and was informed that out of two available Missionary Advisor positions available, they would like me to serve as one. I believe that grants me the role and that still applies... I had no idea how extensive the role would be in terms of responsibility, and quite frankly I'm surprised they see the maturity in me to accomplish this task. In all reality, I am shaking in my boots... I will be responsible for a families life... There really is a present danger involved with taking care of these kids, teens, and adults... And I am taking this role seriously. If it means not eating so that they may, so be it... If it means not enjoying my free time so that they may, so be it.This trip is not about me. First off it's about Christ and his glorious gospel, then it's about the lost, followed by my kids, my team, and lastly me.
I am looking forward to seeing how God will change my heart to that of a servant's... I am so self centered and ignorant in my comforts and where I find myself to be humble, I have also detected self righteousness. All I know is that "there is no greater love than to lay down my life for my friends." "The last will be first and then first will be last" May the Lord break me... May He humble me... Did I mention, if one of my kids throws up I'm most likely in charge of cleaning it?! Talk about servant leadership, I am waaaay out of my comfort zone at merely that thought!
OK, but anyway, yesterday my team and I went through a ropes course to build teamwork. It was amazing, we experienced strength, ingenuity, and overcame tears and fears. We have a genuine love for one another... My heart already breaks at the thought of us returning home again. Philippians 1:8 "God as my witness, how I long for you with the affection of Christ Jesus." The affection of Christ Jesus... How great a love He had for his church that He would lay His life down. This same love is manifest in me. God has sovereignly appointed us all to be together right here, right now... And as I tear up as I write this, I can't wait until I get to heaven to tell them how much I truly love them all. For there is no sense in trying to express this love by any worldly term nor sense... "Break me Oh Lord, teach me to love like you... Grant me vision to see the sorrow, and fill me with the Spirit of holiness, so that I might reflect and transcend the affection of Christ Jesus."
-Ryan Jackson
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| It's the second day. |
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