The Road That Laid Ahead.
Let's rewind seven years. I had just broken the heart of a girl so that I might delight myself in the pursuit of her twin sister. Yet, when the sin had conceived and brought no satisfaction, I realized that I had been fooled by something sinister in me. I was the victim of my own fallen nature. "How could I do this?" skipped like a broken record in my mind over and over.
Weary, I went to the only sanctuary I knew; the church that my dad used to attend. I was upset. I had hurt someone I had loved and caused their family to be split down the middle. I was shocked by what I was capable of. I saw smiling faces. Faces of people who had clearly been forgiven. One man, a rough and tumble motorcycle man, dressed in his leathers and shredded denim, stood in the parking lot and greeted us with tears in his eyes. He was proud of the God who saved him. It was clear to me that I was in the right place.
I didn't remember the sermon. I just wanted someone to recognize me, which they did. They remembered me as Dave Jackson's boy and at the end of the sermon I walked the aisle to receive Christ. I announced over a microphone, to a crowd's applause, my decision. It felt liberating. Pastor John, with his kind demeanor leaned over and handed me one of his pew Bibles. I didn't know what to do with it, let alone where to start reading it. I was afraid all of a sudden, but I felt a little better now.
I drove home, back into the inquisition of my peers. Somehow it seems, I had betrayed all of them. It was as if my entire world turned against me. I had no relationship with my family and jumped at any opportunity to sleep on a friend's floor just so that I wouldn't have to go home. Yet, now all of my friends beside one had disowned me. They all flocked to the girl that I had hurt. Like mother birds protecting their young, they kept me at bay like some predator in the night.
I turned to my Bible in these times. I opened to Genesis and started reading. "I can't accept this!" None of it gelled with my evolutionary theory. Everything I thought I knew stood in stark contrast to what it was saying. I tried to keep an open mind, but I was sorely afraid of what my friends might think of me. Everything would change if I really believed this, and I was not ready to change.
After being stoned verbally in the backseat of a car by the very friends who disowned me, I quit reading my Bible. I was not ready to give up my life that quickly. Instead, one night, in my frustration and pain I picked up a can of beer and downed it. It was the first time I had chosen to escape reality since I had quit using drugs three years prior. It felt good and it bought the acceptance of my peers.
That was a long introduction to my topic, but here is my point. When we come to Christ, we are faced with the menacing decision to give up who and what we are to assume the identity of Christ. I had prayed a prayer to receive Christ seven years ago, but I had not chosen to receive Him until three years ago. I did what many people do, they assume a religion without ever assuming a relationship. Sure, I prayed when it felt right to do it, like when I wanted something or when I got pulled over and didn't want a ticket. The normal times to pray. But I never took into consideration that my behaviors hurt the heart of Christ and I was not about to give up those behaviors.
Now let's rewind a little over a year ago. Saved in 2010, I had been following Christ for two years at this point. I had started a Singles ministry with my buddy, kept a solid two years of sobriety, and even went to Italy to preach the gospel. Things have changed and I was keeping my eyes open for people just like me. Enter Rachel.
Rachel was a fellow cashier at the organic supermarket that I worked at. She was a self proclaimed "bitch." (Yeah, I remember that conversation.) She didn't like me, but I knew exactly who she was. She was me in female form. Stubborn with a broken heart, living for the weekend, and feeling trapped by the toxic cycle of it all. Yes, I was well acquainted with her.
I remember watching the Holy Spirit move in her, watching the walls of her defenses start to crack, then tremble, then begin to fall. A bright and timid girl began to emerge and one day she walked up to me after work and said, "I used to not like you, but there's something about you I just can't put my finger on. You're starting to grow on me." (Ok, maybe those weren't her exact words, but it was something like that.)
A few weeks later Rachel would be sitting with a cigarette asking me and a buddy the hard existential questions and how Christianity answered those. We shared our testimonies and what we knew, but in the end she really just had to let it sink in.
A short time after that, Rachel wanted to meet with me after work. We shot over to a Starbucks and sat down outside. We closed that place, in fact, we closed the mall around us (Our cars got locked into the parking lot.) She wanted to accept Christ, but she was afraid about how her life would change. She was afraid that her friends might disown her. She was afraid about the road that laid ahead. I could only offer her my friendship as well as a spot in the Body of Christ. I really knew where she was coming from. Those same thoughts and fears are what kept me from taking off with God years prior. But now it had come down to a leap of faith. I asked if she was ready to take that leap and she said yes. We prayed right outside that Starbucks for Christ to come in and change her life and He has. Rachel is now passionate about the gospel and she inspires me to this day! It's one thing to experience Christ transform your own life, but you really don't see it until you watch someone else be reborn.
I guess my point is this. There are a lot of decisions in this life that are to be made. Don't forsake your eternity and blessing in this life because your friends won't get it or because you would rather live in the darkness as opposed to coming to the light.
Just about five years ago, I forsook a promising relationship with a very kind and mild mannered girl because she was a Christian and I knew that I would not be able to have sex with her. I am not saying that I regret that decision, because I now have the most wonderful wife a man could ever dream of having, but that same fallen nature that kept me from a relationship with her also kept me from a relationship with Christ. What a waste. Don't waste your life because you are afraid of what others think or what it might feel like. Give it up to God, lay it on the altar and don't worry about the road that lies ahead. When God is your Father then you are His children and trust me, He takes care of His kids.
Weary, I went to the only sanctuary I knew; the church that my dad used to attend. I was upset. I had hurt someone I had loved and caused their family to be split down the middle. I was shocked by what I was capable of. I saw smiling faces. Faces of people who had clearly been forgiven. One man, a rough and tumble motorcycle man, dressed in his leathers and shredded denim, stood in the parking lot and greeted us with tears in his eyes. He was proud of the God who saved him. It was clear to me that I was in the right place.
I didn't remember the sermon. I just wanted someone to recognize me, which they did. They remembered me as Dave Jackson's boy and at the end of the sermon I walked the aisle to receive Christ. I announced over a microphone, to a crowd's applause, my decision. It felt liberating. Pastor John, with his kind demeanor leaned over and handed me one of his pew Bibles. I didn't know what to do with it, let alone where to start reading it. I was afraid all of a sudden, but I felt a little better now.
I drove home, back into the inquisition of my peers. Somehow it seems, I had betrayed all of them. It was as if my entire world turned against me. I had no relationship with my family and jumped at any opportunity to sleep on a friend's floor just so that I wouldn't have to go home. Yet, now all of my friends beside one had disowned me. They all flocked to the girl that I had hurt. Like mother birds protecting their young, they kept me at bay like some predator in the night.
I turned to my Bible in these times. I opened to Genesis and started reading. "I can't accept this!" None of it gelled with my evolutionary theory. Everything I thought I knew stood in stark contrast to what it was saying. I tried to keep an open mind, but I was sorely afraid of what my friends might think of me. Everything would change if I really believed this, and I was not ready to change.
After being stoned verbally in the backseat of a car by the very friends who disowned me, I quit reading my Bible. I was not ready to give up my life that quickly. Instead, one night, in my frustration and pain I picked up a can of beer and downed it. It was the first time I had chosen to escape reality since I had quit using drugs three years prior. It felt good and it bought the acceptance of my peers.
That was a long introduction to my topic, but here is my point. When we come to Christ, we are faced with the menacing decision to give up who and what we are to assume the identity of Christ. I had prayed a prayer to receive Christ seven years ago, but I had not chosen to receive Him until three years ago. I did what many people do, they assume a religion without ever assuming a relationship. Sure, I prayed when it felt right to do it, like when I wanted something or when I got pulled over and didn't want a ticket. The normal times to pray. But I never took into consideration that my behaviors hurt the heart of Christ and I was not about to give up those behaviors.
Now let's rewind a little over a year ago. Saved in 2010, I had been following Christ for two years at this point. I had started a Singles ministry with my buddy, kept a solid two years of sobriety, and even went to Italy to preach the gospel. Things have changed and I was keeping my eyes open for people just like me. Enter Rachel.
Rachel was a fellow cashier at the organic supermarket that I worked at. She was a self proclaimed "bitch." (Yeah, I remember that conversation.) She didn't like me, but I knew exactly who she was. She was me in female form. Stubborn with a broken heart, living for the weekend, and feeling trapped by the toxic cycle of it all. Yes, I was well acquainted with her.
I remember watching the Holy Spirit move in her, watching the walls of her defenses start to crack, then tremble, then begin to fall. A bright and timid girl began to emerge and one day she walked up to me after work and said, "I used to not like you, but there's something about you I just can't put my finger on. You're starting to grow on me." (Ok, maybe those weren't her exact words, but it was something like that.)
A few weeks later Rachel would be sitting with a cigarette asking me and a buddy the hard existential questions and how Christianity answered those. We shared our testimonies and what we knew, but in the end she really just had to let it sink in.
A short time after that, Rachel wanted to meet with me after work. We shot over to a Starbucks and sat down outside. We closed that place, in fact, we closed the mall around us (Our cars got locked into the parking lot.) She wanted to accept Christ, but she was afraid about how her life would change. She was afraid that her friends might disown her. She was afraid about the road that laid ahead. I could only offer her my friendship as well as a spot in the Body of Christ. I really knew where she was coming from. Those same thoughts and fears are what kept me from taking off with God years prior. But now it had come down to a leap of faith. I asked if she was ready to take that leap and she said yes. We prayed right outside that Starbucks for Christ to come in and change her life and He has. Rachel is now passionate about the gospel and she inspires me to this day! It's one thing to experience Christ transform your own life, but you really don't see it until you watch someone else be reborn.
I guess my point is this. There are a lot of decisions in this life that are to be made. Don't forsake your eternity and blessing in this life because your friends won't get it or because you would rather live in the darkness as opposed to coming to the light.
Just about five years ago, I forsook a promising relationship with a very kind and mild mannered girl because she was a Christian and I knew that I would not be able to have sex with her. I am not saying that I regret that decision, because I now have the most wonderful wife a man could ever dream of having, but that same fallen nature that kept me from a relationship with her also kept me from a relationship with Christ. What a waste. Don't waste your life because you are afraid of what others think or what it might feel like. Give it up to God, lay it on the altar and don't worry about the road that lies ahead. When God is your Father then you are His children and trust me, He takes care of His kids.
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