We Once Were Children
It was the evening of last as I despairingly paraded around the front of the house, per Domino's Pizza, and spotted a very young girl smiling in excitement as she witnessed the business unfold before her. She was captivated by those answering phones, and pizzas being slung as drivers were in and out of the store. I'm sure she had been anticipating that moment the entire duration of time passed, post being mentioned by her mother. Her face was awash with childhood innocence, illuminated by flickering fluorescent bulbs that were just another burden on our to do list.
As she caught my eye, and I connected with her youthful in-artificiality, I was taken out of body for a brief moment. I literally left my senses and was able to define a sense of virtue. All of this in less than a blink of an eye. I was left at a loss for words, as to what just happened. All I could imagine doing in response was humbling myself before God, for my innocence was dead...
There was a time in which I was that little girl. It was on a field trip to my local Domino's in Bordentown, NJ, via my preschool class of 1991, that I felt that same radiance toward mundane life as witnessed again last evening. I absolutely HATED school, with a passion... So much that I developed severe anxiety disorders in attendance, yet that did not hinder my anticipatory response upon arrival at the store. My eyes flashed in wonder and adoration of the people who were in charge of this larger than life operation. The air injected, Middleby-Marshall oven hummed over me, a mammoth of great proportion, dwarfing me in size, and to the left was the makeline, or area in which pizza's were conceived. I approached the stainless steel dough tables and began to sift through the shifting wonder of cornmeal. My hands representing the hourglass of dreams to unfold in my later future, as I one day would become the very boy in which I stood in awe. I was handed a moderately proofed dough ball and began to construct what would become one of the most prideful accomplishments of my childhood, A pepperoni pizza...
As I operate to this day, and for the past four years, I have been those men who allowed that preschool class to come in and make their own pizzas. I have run the ranks of delivery personnel, shift supervisor, to general manager, all the while I have since forgotten the boyish wonder that held me in it's grip that day so long ago. For that abandonment of exhilaration by means of virgin appeal, I stood with my spirit crushed... I realized that not much of anything excited me anymore. That my life had been so weighed down by bills, burdens, and compulsions that I could no longer enjoy the things in life worth slowing down for.
As much as the previous statement rings true, however there is hope in regaining the joy lost in mundane living. I have personally realized, that through God my joy has returned, my innocence has been reinstated. I do not live daily to find kicks in gambling, drinking, partying, promiscuity, and prideful ambition. This life just isn't meant to be taken to that extent. I have been comforted by the grace emanated by the one who saved me. I have been told to "Be still, and know that I am God". Somehow, God has intervened with my life, He has taken my spirit and made it new. I can now have fun plucking crabs out of the ocean and putting them in pink sand buckets with estranged women that I haven't objectified. I can enjoy a nightly bike ride with wonderful friends who do not seek to pursue their own prideful ambition. I can play touch football with an age group ranging from their 30's down to the tenths. I can fish with those who struggle the same struggles I do, and be grateful in the absence of productivity. I can love from afar, respect from up close, and not impose myself by means of selfish gain.
My life has been re-written by the grace God has befallen me. I have no inclination to drink, to gamble, to party, even to be sexually active... I have a desire to give all of my money away, and yet be financially responsible. I take great joy in witnessing the gospel of Jesus Christ to those who are still living the life I spent so much time in living. In addition I adore my sobriety, and my recovery where I am able to tear down the walls of denial and insecurity I have stacked up since those days of youth. It is clear to me, that I have been saved in a sense. By a method in which I can describe as being purely illogical. So just as I was told, in days dating back by a great friend of mine, I now will tell you. "What you are doing is completely illogical... But that's OK, because faith and logic never really coincide." -Andrew Grear
-I would personally love to see more people step forward and contrast the life altering effects God has instilled upon their miserable lives (Wow that's harsh, but true for some). By any means possible, glorify God by leaving a comment, or just telling someone about it today. After all, it is why He allowed us to suffer, so that we may bring forth a custom tailored testimony suited just for you and at least one other... I assure you, He will give you a pat on the back! :)
As she caught my eye, and I connected with her youthful in-artificiality, I was taken out of body for a brief moment. I literally left my senses and was able to define a sense of virtue. All of this in less than a blink of an eye. I was left at a loss for words, as to what just happened. All I could imagine doing in response was humbling myself before God, for my innocence was dead...
There was a time in which I was that little girl. It was on a field trip to my local Domino's in Bordentown, NJ, via my preschool class of 1991, that I felt that same radiance toward mundane life as witnessed again last evening. I absolutely HATED school, with a passion... So much that I developed severe anxiety disorders in attendance, yet that did not hinder my anticipatory response upon arrival at the store. My eyes flashed in wonder and adoration of the people who were in charge of this larger than life operation. The air injected, Middleby-Marshall oven hummed over me, a mammoth of great proportion, dwarfing me in size, and to the left was the makeline, or area in which pizza's were conceived. I approached the stainless steel dough tables and began to sift through the shifting wonder of cornmeal. My hands representing the hourglass of dreams to unfold in my later future, as I one day would become the very boy in which I stood in awe. I was handed a moderately proofed dough ball and began to construct what would become one of the most prideful accomplishments of my childhood, A pepperoni pizza...
As I operate to this day, and for the past four years, I have been those men who allowed that preschool class to come in and make their own pizzas. I have run the ranks of delivery personnel, shift supervisor, to general manager, all the while I have since forgotten the boyish wonder that held me in it's grip that day so long ago. For that abandonment of exhilaration by means of virgin appeal, I stood with my spirit crushed... I realized that not much of anything excited me anymore. That my life had been so weighed down by bills, burdens, and compulsions that I could no longer enjoy the things in life worth slowing down for.
As much as the previous statement rings true, however there is hope in regaining the joy lost in mundane living. I have personally realized, that through God my joy has returned, my innocence has been reinstated. I do not live daily to find kicks in gambling, drinking, partying, promiscuity, and prideful ambition. This life just isn't meant to be taken to that extent. I have been comforted by the grace emanated by the one who saved me. I have been told to "Be still, and know that I am God". Somehow, God has intervened with my life, He has taken my spirit and made it new. I can now have fun plucking crabs out of the ocean and putting them in pink sand buckets with estranged women that I haven't objectified. I can enjoy a nightly bike ride with wonderful friends who do not seek to pursue their own prideful ambition. I can play touch football with an age group ranging from their 30's down to the tenths. I can fish with those who struggle the same struggles I do, and be grateful in the absence of productivity. I can love from afar, respect from up close, and not impose myself by means of selfish gain.
My life has been re-written by the grace God has befallen me. I have no inclination to drink, to gamble, to party, even to be sexually active... I have a desire to give all of my money away, and yet be financially responsible. I take great joy in witnessing the gospel of Jesus Christ to those who are still living the life I spent so much time in living. In addition I adore my sobriety, and my recovery where I am able to tear down the walls of denial and insecurity I have stacked up since those days of youth. It is clear to me, that I have been saved in a sense. By a method in which I can describe as being purely illogical. So just as I was told, in days dating back by a great friend of mine, I now will tell you. "What you are doing is completely illogical... But that's OK, because faith and logic never really coincide." -Andrew Grear
-I would personally love to see more people step forward and contrast the life altering effects God has instilled upon their miserable lives (Wow that's harsh, but true for some). By any means possible, glorify God by leaving a comment, or just telling someone about it today. After all, it is why He allowed us to suffer, so that we may bring forth a custom tailored testimony suited just for you and at least one other... I assure you, He will give you a pat on the back! :)
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