Certain Uncertainty?
How do you approach "Certain Uncertainty"? A term that popped into my head last night during the constant prayer for peace and direction that buzzes throughout my existence day in and day out. What is "Certain Uncertainty"? Why it's exactly what it indicates. It's having been given or assured something, yet not having the faith to follow through with what's been promised. God met my prayers with His word the other day through a personal bible study I have with a good friend. We are studying parables and the study guide had us go over Numbers 12:1-2, 26-33 ; 14: 6-9.
Numbers 12:1-2, 26-33
Exploring Canaan
Numbers 12:1-2, 26-33
Exploring Canaan
1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders."
26 They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there.29 The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan." 30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."
31 But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."
Numbers 14:6-9
6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."
The Israelites were given God's assurance of the promised land, yet they failed to enter out of fear of defeat. This passage indicates that if only they had taken the risk and overcome they would not have had to live with the consequences of deep regret, great remorse, and highest of all, a broken faith. They were alone in a desert, with no food, no amenities, and no trust in God's direction. They were a broken people of little faith.
I personally have been in a struggle to maintain the direction in which God is leading me. It is at times, I am positive of His promise to me, and will seek it out to whatever extent. Yet my insecurities and self doubt weigh me down, and eventually discourage me from seeking out at all. I can cover up the situation and leave it for what it is. I will build up walls around me, and become complacent with where I'm at, never experiencing the riches He has set aside for me.
I understand also that I am young, I am new to this Christianity thing, and that time takes time. However there are certain areas of my life that are shrouded with uncertainty over the certainty God has indicated. For instance relationships, my codependency constantly nags at me to be involved with someone. For without the love of another, how could I ever be content with myself?! This requires DAILY nullification. I cannot express the level of effort involved to maintain my serenity when it comes to being single. Yet now I only wait for one. My eyes do not seek. My heart does not sway, my mind stays steadfast in knowing what God has set aside for me. For it is here, that faith and trust are paramount. Trust in God that He has me exactly where I need to be and that patience is key. Constantly I must remind myself that I am no longer following my will for my life. That all aspects of life include Him, and that if His promises ring true, than I am finally on the right road. The uncertainty lies in the length of the road, and the speed of the travel. Trusting that even though this is a dark and foreign road, that He will navigate me truthfully, and that all it takes for me to enter His promised land, is the willingness not to be discouraged when it is set before me.
Do I believe the promised land is near? Indeed, it is in on the horizon, yet there are mountains to be climbed and rivers to be crossed. I can see it in the distance, shining with it's meadows, flowing with abundance, and bearing the fruits of the land. I too see the guardians, those who inhabit the hillside. Those much larger and prosperous than I. I can relate also to the ten who spread the report, wary, and as grasshopper within the eye of the opposition. Yet I must rely on the FACT that I have the Lord, and as noted in the past, it is nearly no contest. The route in which I faithfully travel has its detours and barricades. All I can do is remain the passenger in this vehicle of time, and not too long from now I will stand at the gates of uncertainty. To which direction will my heart decide?
31 But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."
Numbers 14:6-9
6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."
The Israelites were given God's assurance of the promised land, yet they failed to enter out of fear of defeat. This passage indicates that if only they had taken the risk and overcome they would not have had to live with the consequences of deep regret, great remorse, and highest of all, a broken faith. They were alone in a desert, with no food, no amenities, and no trust in God's direction. They were a broken people of little faith.
I personally have been in a struggle to maintain the direction in which God is leading me. It is at times, I am positive of His promise to me, and will seek it out to whatever extent. Yet my insecurities and self doubt weigh me down, and eventually discourage me from seeking out at all. I can cover up the situation and leave it for what it is. I will build up walls around me, and become complacent with where I'm at, never experiencing the riches He has set aside for me.
I understand also that I am young, I am new to this Christianity thing, and that time takes time. However there are certain areas of my life that are shrouded with uncertainty over the certainty God has indicated. For instance relationships, my codependency constantly nags at me to be involved with someone. For without the love of another, how could I ever be content with myself?! This requires DAILY nullification. I cannot express the level of effort involved to maintain my serenity when it comes to being single. Yet now I only wait for one. My eyes do not seek. My heart does not sway, my mind stays steadfast in knowing what God has set aside for me. For it is here, that faith and trust are paramount. Trust in God that He has me exactly where I need to be and that patience is key. Constantly I must remind myself that I am no longer following my will for my life. That all aspects of life include Him, and that if His promises ring true, than I am finally on the right road. The uncertainty lies in the length of the road, and the speed of the travel. Trusting that even though this is a dark and foreign road, that He will navigate me truthfully, and that all it takes for me to enter His promised land, is the willingness not to be discouraged when it is set before me.
Do I believe the promised land is near? Indeed, it is in on the horizon, yet there are mountains to be climbed and rivers to be crossed. I can see it in the distance, shining with it's meadows, flowing with abundance, and bearing the fruits of the land. I too see the guardians, those who inhabit the hillside. Those much larger and prosperous than I. I can relate also to the ten who spread the report, wary, and as grasshopper within the eye of the opposition. Yet I must rely on the FACT that I have the Lord, and as noted in the past, it is nearly no contest. The route in which I faithfully travel has its detours and barricades. All I can do is remain the passenger in this vehicle of time, and not too long from now I will stand at the gates of uncertainty. To which direction will my heart decide?
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